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Cocksucker   
02:24am 18/11/2013
  I didn't want to post this on FB because I have students on there, so it didn't seem appropriate. ;)

I just read an article about the whole Alec Baldwin gay slur thing, and it was the first one that actually specified what he said. He called a paparazzi a "cocksucker."

I was confused. I've never really thought of cocksucker as a gay insult. I thought of it more like motherfucker or dickwad, just generally all-purpose crass. Once I think about it, of course it is a gay insult...and yet it is a gay insult that is made as a backhanded insult against women. Think about it: which gender actually is more likely to be found sucking dicks?

Funny how many of our insults seem to boil down to insulting women, most often in a sexual way. Like the biggest insult is suggesting a man might be as lowly as a woman. And yet these insults are made by men who are so committed to sleeping with women and offended by the idea of sleeping with anyone NOT a woman.

Sorry, dude, but you go around calling people "cocksucker" and you are basically giving your girlfriend a get out of BJs for life card.
 
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New Friends Feed   
02:26am 26/04/2013
  Oh dear god. I clicked the link offering to switch to the "new friends feed." It was terrible. I switched right back. I hope LJ doesn't go on later to force the switch, like FB. I don't post here very often anymore, but I still read frequently.  
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ZOE IS HOME!   
07:57pm 21/07/2012
  I found her! I literally found her! I went door to door today in the neighborhood and 1 single person had seen her, on his back porch last week. He lived in the building directly behind Simone's building, on the other side of her fence where I called for Zoe every night. I had him put some food out for her on his porch, and then I was putting out a humane trap with food on Simone's side of the fence; I was talking to my aunt Linda on the phone when I was doing it, and I started hearing this cat meowing. I didn't think it was Zoe because it didn't sound like her, but it kept up, so I finally decided to go check it out. The meowing continued the whole time it took me to climb through a fence, go down the parking lot of one building and back up through the parking garage of the other building, and up to where the other side of the fence was, with this wild bamboo thicket all along it. The cat kept meowing so I called to it, and the leaves finally rustled and out came Zoe! I had some treats in my bag, so I held them out to her and she came to me and let me pick her up and hold her and purred and everything. I called Simone and had her pull her car around front because I didn't have a carrier, but when I started carrying her to the front of the building, Zoe freaked out and clawed me until I let her go. She ran back for the bushes, so I sent Simone to get my carrier, and then I camped out at the bushes but she wouldn't show herself or make a sound. I sang to her, I dangled her toys, threw out treats, nothing. Finally, I just climbed into the bushes and straight grabbed her and wrestled her out. She flipped out when I put her in the carrier, but I got her in and got her home! She is a bit skinny, but no worse for the wear! We have already cuddled up together, and now she is sitting on her cat tower, looking around at the apartment like she doesn't quite believe it.  
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Zoe   
10:10pm 17/07/2012
  Zoe is missing. I am not posting this on Facebook because the girl who lost her is a friend on FB and I don't want her to feel bad. Zoe and the cat I recently rescued, Squeaky, were staying with my friend while I was out of the country. 3 days after I left, Squeaky (I assume) broke through a screen because she realized she was in her old neighborhood where she lived before I caught her, and Zoe followed her out. Squeaky was easy to catch because she just went back to hanging out behind the building, where she used to live. Zoe, who presumably got scared and confused when she realized she didn't know where she was and couldn't get back into the apartment, has not been seen or heard of since. My friend and her family searched and called for her and put up posters, to no avail. They emailed me several days later but sent it to the wrong address, so I never got it. They emailed me again a week later, 2 days before I was due to return home. I immediately caught the first flight back, but Zoe had been gone 2 weeks by then. In the 2 days I've been back, I've called the shelters (she has a microchip, so they would call me anyway), put up 100 fliers in the one mile between my apartment and my friend's where she was lost, targeted nearby pet stores and vets, and just put out 84 postcard size fliers on the cars parked on the street where she went missing. I've walked the area 6 times--45 minutes to an hour and a half for each circuit, I'm naming it the Zoe Search Workout Plan--calling for her in case she is hiding and can hear me. I've even put out dirty socks and gym shirts on my friend's porch and outside my door so that she can follow my smell. I don't know what else to do but keep putting up more fliers and keep walking and waiting for someone to call or for her to just show up one day. I'm hopeful she at least hasn't been hit by a car because they scan the dead animals for microchips...but there's always coyotes. :(

I'm trying to not take it out on Squeaky, but I'm afraid I hold it against her. Zoe and I were happy before I brought her home, and everything seems to have gone wrong since. Zoe wouldn't cuddle with me for over a month, since she arrived, and if I hadn't had the 2 cats and been trying to get them to get along, I probably would have left Zoe at home alone with a pet-sitter checking on her. But I couldn't leave them alone together, so I needed someone to take them both and supervise them. Zoe certainly would not have broken through a screen on her own, she's much more a hide in the closet type. But Squeaky adores me and constantly wants to cuddle and purr and be all over me...and I just wish I had Zoe. She is such a sweetheart, but if Zoe doesn't come home, I don't know what I'll do. And if Zoe does come home and still hates Squeaky, I'm afraid I will need to find Squeaky another home. Either way, I want my Zoe back.
 
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Not suitable for Facebook   
09:49pm 10/06/2012
  Sometimes I see pictures of people on my friend feed and think, "Who are these fat middle-aged parents, and how did they get on my friend feed?" and then I click and look closer and realize it is/was the hot popular girl from high school and her hot cute boyfriend I had a crush on...

Toto, we are not in high school anymore.
 
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Matching energy levels   
12:04am 12/12/2011
  So, at a party this evening, a friend of mine was talking about someone she knew who was getting divorced, and she felt like she should congratulate the man.  She had met his wife years before, and the woman was perfectly nice...But the type of energy each put out into the world just didn't really seem to match, or be complementary to each other...It occurs to me that this is the thing I can't seem to explain to people when I'm trying to define why I do or do not "like" a man.  There are guys that I meet who are perfectly fine people, who on paper would be a very good match for me, who I can't really find any actual measurable excuse for not wanting to go out with...who I would happily set OTHER women up on dates with...but I just can't really see dating myself.  I guess it's just an energy thing.   
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"French" Pancake recipe   
11:39pm 05/07/2011
   Oh my god, I have perfected the "French" pancake recipe that has been handed down in my family from my Dutch-Irish great grandmother, and it is Awesome!  Technically, it is actually an English pancake, but for some odd reason, she always called them French pancakes because she though it sounded classier or something.

The original recipe is:

3/4 cup milk
1 egg
3 rounded Tablespoons of flour

Mix all together well.  Heat frying pan (non-stick is definitely best for these) on medium-high; you can cooking spray the pan, but you still need a little butter because it helps with browning and for some reason the cooking spray just isn't good enough at preventing the pancake from sticking.  Pour ALL the batter into the pan (you are making one single dinner plate sized pancake).  The mix should be very runny and produce a thin pancake.  Let cook until the edges look solid (the top will be runny).  This is the hard part: you have to carefully run the spatula around the edges until you've got it entirely unstuck, then you carefully need to slide the spatula under until the whole pancake is unstuck, then you need to flip it in one fell swoop, without throwing hot gooey mix from the uncooked top into your own face (I only still have eyes thanks to my glasses) and without getting the pancake all folded up on itself. You may need to make a couple sacrificial pancakes until you figure out how to do it right.  When both sides are cooked, put pancake onto dinner plate and apply liberal amounts of lemon juice (just keep adding more, can't have too much) and spread on a teaspoon or so of table sugar.  Then, roll up the pancake like a long roll of paper towels, spread more lemon juice on top, and slice every inch or so, so that you end up with a bunch of bite-sized little circles.  Some traditionalists just fold in fourths and cut, instead of doing circles, but my family makes circles.  Recipe makes one pancake, which is a suitable serving for one person.  

The traditional recipe is wonderful. But I decided that I wanted more protein and fiber, to keep my pancake sticking with me longer throughout the day.  I experimented with whole wheat flours and eggs and moisture amounts and have found the perfect new recipe! Arrowhead Mills makes a stone-ground organic whole wheat flour that tastes good, but it results in a kind of thick pancake that doesn't roll so well.  So I tried the Arrowhead Mills Organic Pastry Flour which is still whole wheat but a little less bulky and slightly less fiber, and it is divine!

My new Awesome recipe:
2/3 cup milk
1 egg
3 Tablespoons egg whites (I buy a container of egg white at whole foods instead of wasting 3 yolks just to get whites)
3 rounded Tablespoons Organic Pastry Flour (whole wheat)

Prepare same way as traditional recipe, and it works great!  Tastes just as good and delicate as with normal flour, but with fiber, and more protein with the extra egg whites substituting for some of the milk!  Satisfies the pancakes/pastry craving, but feels more solid, like an omelet, and doesn't give you that horrible carb coma afterward.  Also, if you are a weightwatchers type, one pancake is the equivalent of 6 points plus. ;)
 
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Toast   
12:58am 02/05/2011
  Let us raise a glass to men whose names we will likely never know, the team of United States operatives who put a bullet into Osama bin Laden: good on you, boys.    
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Happy Birthday, Zoe!   
10:28am 14/02/2011
  It is Zoe's Third Birthday today!  Happy Birthday, Zoe! :))))   
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Merry Christmas!   
11:49pm 24/12/2010
  To all, and to all a  good night. ;)  
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Happy Thanksgiving!   
01:50pm 25/11/2010
   I am thankful for... Zoe! :)

She's been so cute today, I almost can't stand it....
 
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Argh   
11:08am 08/11/2010
  Could more clients cancel on me this week, please? Seriously, it's only Monday at 11am and I still have half my usual appointments  for the week remaining on the calendar. Clearly I need more cancellations. ;p  
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Death etiquette   
02:26am 06/11/2010
  I am reading a book in which someone has died, and of course, the community reacts in the usual way--friends coming over to the house, neighbors bringing food, flowers, etc. It has reminded me of when my mother died, and in recent years, as we've all grown older, unfortunately more people I know have experienced losses or know people that have. I often hear people say the same thing: "I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say." So, a good 14 years removed from the event, I now have some advice to share:

Read more...Collapse )
 
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You be the casting director!   
12:36am 03/11/2010
  Stolen from Defamer:

"Baz Luhrmann has locked three actors in [a room] to "workshop" an adaptation of The Great Gatsby! The actors? Tobey Maguire as Nick. Rebecca Hall as Daisy. And Leonardo DiCaprio as Gatsby. Blerghhh. I like Hall and DiCaprio, but not in those parts. And Tobey Maguire is just not who I would cast in that role. But, hey, at least it's not Gerard Butler as Gatsby, Jessica Alba as Daisy, and Michael Cera as Nick...Hahahaha. That's actually a fun game. Let's play that game. Come up with the worst possible Great Gatsby casting. How about: Adam Brody as Nick, Matthew McConnaughey as Gatsby, and Katherine Heigl as Daisy. Now you go!"

OC Gatsby: Ben Mackenzie as Gatsby, Misha Barton as Daisy, Adam Brody as Nick, Rachel Bilson as Jordan.

Gossip Girl Gatsby: Chace Crawford as Gatsby, Blake Lively as Daisy, Penn Badgley as Nick, and Leighton Meester as Jordan. And Chuck as Tom, I guess....

Come up with more!
 
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Le sigh   
11:42pm 26/10/2010
  So, my dishnetwork receiver breaks and they send me out a replacement, and I am supposed to send the old one back by UPS, but they forget to include a return shipping label. When I call them, they say they will have to send me out an entire new empty box by UPS with a shipping label because they can't just print out a label and mail it to me. Their "system" won't allow it. Uh huh. So I wait another week, get the new box with a label this time, send back the receiver, and throw out the extra box. Then today, I come home to ANOTHER empty box with a shipping label sitting on my door. So I call dishnetwork. They did receive the receiver, don't know why I got yet another empty box...And they want me to take the empty box all the way down to UPS and mail it back to them. So that I won't get "charged." For the empty box I didn't ask for. So, I'm like, "Um, no." The guy has to go get clearance for me not to send it back and not get charged. Then he tells me to hold onto the box in case I need it in the future. I'm like, "Um, no. I live in a studio. The box is getting thrown out. You can mail me another one if I ever have to send this receiver back to you years and years from now." Meanwhile, I'm trying not to laugh at this guy who is seriously trying to tell me I need to mail him back an empty box.

This is how American companies go bankrupt: institutionalized stupidity. Blamed on the computer.

But Zoe really seems to enjoy chewing on their boxes, so not a complete waste.
 
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I want to vote for this guy!   
11:04pm 25/10/2010
   
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So weird   
03:36pm 18/10/2010
  I was literally jolted awake at 7am this morning with simultaneous chills and hot flashes, an almost uncontrollable need to throw up, and the extremely dismayed certainty that I had somehow contracted the flu. I even rushed to the bathroom and dumped out my wastebasket, so certain was I that I would need a vomit bucket.

Turns out I was hungry. I ate a bag of pirate's booty because it was the closest thing I had to crackers, and voila, chills, sweats, and need to vomit subsides.

Whatever. Don't ask me.

I am now frightened to get hungry.

And before you ask, yes, I did in fact eat yesterday, and in appropriate amounts, and in the evening not too terribly long before bed. I have no idea.

I did have this weird problem for a few weeks, several years ago, where I would wake up with stabbing pains in my stomach in the middle of the night and would have to eat a piece or two of bread to make it go away, regardless of how much I had eaten before bed. I took to keeping a loaf of bread on my nightstand for awhile, but it eventually went away...

The human body is odd, and mine apparently especially so.
 
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Maturity? Boredom?   
01:13pm 09/10/2010
  So, I've been noticing over the last couple years that I am becoming less and less enamored of...wit? Sarcasm? Flippancy? Those overly clever responses people come up with during debates that are designed to show how overly intelligent and superior they are to the topic of conversation, while simultaneously implying that the people who really do care about the topic and are emotionally invested are just a little bit stupid and a lot more foolish than they are....

I'm not talking about the people who are just plain priggish jerks -- we all get why those people are boors. I'm talking about the more charming people who use it as a debate tactic. The ones for whom the go-to argument isn't the actual argument, but to side-step the issue and make some sharp little retort that makes everyone laugh and think how clever they are. In college, I used to think such people were so admirable, and I enjoyed being in group discussions with them, and I often wanted to learn how to do what they did. I could say that there have been times I have even held my own with them...

But I am finding now that I find such tactics...tiring. And kind of irritating. If you're having a religious discussion with some Christians that you can tell actually care about the topic, do you really need to keep making backhanded sneers at the illogic of faith and religion? It's just too easy. I can come up with those all day, because I don't care about God or whatever. But they do. Why do you have to disrespect something that doesn't matter at all to you but that clearly matters so much to them? You don't have to agree, but why do you have to make fun?

I guess what I really don't like is this need some people have to constantly prove that they are so much "smarter than" or "superior to." If you're so smart, then good for you -- you should be able to just enjoy it. If it's true, you don't need to prove it. When I was younger, I think I felt the need to keep up with such people, prove that I belonged in their club. Now, I'm just feeling more and more like...whatever, I have real things to do. But I still do enjoy a good robust intellectual argument...If only I could have them without one or more of those people ALWAYS showing up. But they always do. They have go looking for me and the people who want to have a real discussion because they need some platform to prove how clever they are. Again.
 
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Huh   
11:59am 05/10/2010
  Zoe appears to be entering a second kitten-hood. After a couple years of her almost never biting my face anymore, I woke up to her nibbling on me for the last two mornings...

Or maybe this is just her newest strategy for waking me up to go get her kitty treats. ;)
 
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Oops   
11:27pm 30/09/2010
  So, I've had Zoe on a free-feeding system since I got her -- she always has dry food in her bowl, it never goes empty. As a result, she's never been terrifically interested in food -- it's always there, so why get worked up over it? She never ate terribly much, just sort of pecked at it here and there. This was the way I wanted it -- living in a one room studio, I didn't want my cat to ever feel she had a reason to wake me up in the morning. This has worked well for the nearly two and a half years I have had her... But then I decided I would kind of like it if she paid more attention to me and realized I was responsible for her ability to eat. So I started giving her wet food as a treat...which she didn't particularly care for. Eventually, she ended up liking the water from mommy's tuna fish, so we made that a regular treat. But then I didn't have any tuna around at some point, and she finally started to show some interest in Feline Greenies -- treats I had often given her, but not daily. So, that became her nightly treat for a few months... And then sometimes I would give her a couple during the day if she did something good, like coming inside when I asked her to... and then she started meowing for them in the morning when I walked by where they are kept, and the bag says to give them twice a day anyway because they "clean the cat's teeth" so I figured, sure, twice a day treat...

She now begs for them ALL DAY. Anytime I get off my bed and appear to be walking anywhere near the kitchen, she meows. She'll wake up from a dead sleep and come running over if she hears me in the kitchen area. She'll beg for treats, I will give them to her, and as soon as she is done, she will start begging again like I never gave them to her.

And of course, I like the attention, so I have to fight my inclination to keep giving them to her. My cat should not become obese because I have poor self-control.

*sigh*

I think we need to go back to once a day, only after dark, when I arrive home for the day. This is going to be a sucky couple of weeks, because you know she'll keep begging for a long time....

I had such a good plan, originally. And it really had gone so well.
 
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